I woke up this morning to two elephants, a duck, and a four year old taking over my bed (sock monkey is no longer allowed because he came to life and tried to kill Parker the other night, "for real".) We went through our usual argument of why fruit snack or oreos were not acceptable breakfast foods and came to the agreement of French toast instead.
After breakfast it was melt down city because I wanted Parker to wear pants instead of shorts. He insisted that "he didn't look good" and burst into tears; it was clearly the end of the world (I have a diva on my hands.) I caved-shorts it is today. The waterworks, however, didn't end there. I was the worst mom ever for taking away his whoopee cushion; it was only funny the first 50 times, and I crushed his soul when I warmed up his frozen donut for him; apparently they taste better cold.
Did you get all that? Good, because it's only 10 am at this point. Nap time, where are you?!
Rarely do I get a Sunday off, so I decided to go where few mothers have gone before, I skipped naptime. Parker and I had a mommy son date and saw Maleficent in 3D. Great movie, but when did the movies get so expensive?! We stopped at the bathroom on our way out where Parker insisted he didn't have to go. Low and behold, guess who had an accident in the parking lot of Sweet Frog, TWO minutes down the road! Crazy mom of the year, rushing to the bathroom in a busy froyo shop with a waddling toddler in tow. We ended up getting some yummy treats, but poor Parker had to resort to being commando for the rest of the outing.
We finished off our day with an evening stroll down the trail next to our house. By evening stroll I mean me chasing after an uncontrollable four year old on a tricycle, I bet that was an amusing sight for passersby. Finally it was time to feed and bath my little monster.
While Parker is in the tubby I'm doing my usual routine; brushing my teeth, washing my face, etc. Talking to him here and there, but mostly he's just in his own little world when he plays. Well, slick rick over there decided to sneak his silly putty into the tubby. As he's getting out of the tub I hear, "uh oh mommy, I need your help." I look over and no joke, his silly putty is stuck to his penis. That's right, his little male genitalia...awkward. Is this real life? The water had made the putty soft and sticky and for whatever reason Parker thought it would be a good idea to stick the putty down below and the darn putty would not come off; it was almost as awkward as trying to teach him how to aim when he pees. Alas, the putty came off. As for the putty however, it is in the trash. Can't wait to tell that story to his first girlfriend!
Bedtime had finally made it's debut and I so warmly welcomed it! I tucked my little munchkin in his bed, turned on his turtle nightlight, and gave his a big kiss goodnight. Like usual, he whined for me to cuddle with him but I held my ground (highly unusual) and closed the door behind me. As I'm walking away I hear, "Mommy, I'm so sad." "Mommy, you can call me Saddy Claus." I silently burst into laughter. Good play on words, kid. He's so funny.
I creep into my room and collapse onto my bed; half covered in stuffed animals, the other half covered in half folded laundry. I stare down at the what once was my hardwood floor that has now been replaced with a sea of dirty laundry. I finally muster the energy to attack the laundry pile. I begin sorting piles and-surprise! a train, a puzzle piece, a...door knob? I just laugh to myself. Those "are you kidding me" moments, those "is this real life" situations, that's just my every day life as a single mom. My crazy, beautiful real life sitcom.
Lol that was awesome :) I've had so many of these moments as a single daddy. I'd love to hear more so come back!
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